I Think I May Have Palin Poisoning

I haven't been feeling well lately. Headache. Sick to my stomach. A general weak and shaky feeling. I think I may have Palin Poisoning....

I watched the vice-presidential debate last night, and as bad as I thought Sarah Palin did, what was far worse was hearing Pat Buchanan say afterward that she'd clearly won the debate. Huh? I don't get it. Joe Biden clearly knew his stuff. Palin was clearly (and emptily) remembering what other people had coached her on. And arrogant to boot. No, people, she didn't show a maverick spirit by refusing to answer certain of Gwen Ifill's questions and turning the "debate" in her own direction. How smart do you have to be to understand that the reason she didn't answer certain questions was that she COULDN'T answer them? She didn't KNOW ENOUGH to be able to give an answer. And it's not a debate at all if both parties aren't addressing the same question at hand; then it's just called "talking."

I'm sickened by the fact that people are so impressed by Palin's "style." They like how she's "just like them" (frightening -- does this mean there are a million more of her out there?), how she looks right into camera; they love her winks and waves, a la Bush. You'd think she was simply applying for a job as hostess at The Olive Garden or something. People, hear this: We're talking about the VICE-PRESIDENCY here, and quite possibly THE PRESIDENCY. After watching Palin at the Republican convention and in the debate last night, the ONLY thing I can tell that she's qualified for is teaching the most effective facial expressions, hand gestures, and tone of voice to impress a lot of people (though I remain wholly unimpressed by even this facet of her and can barely stand to hear her voice -- you know, the nails on the chalkboard thing).

Where is everybody's imagination? Do we really want to see someone like Sarah Palin as the next V.P. just because we need more spunk in our lives? What happens next, after the final spunky finger-point, thumbs-up, nose-wrinkle, wink, and wave before she fluffs her pillow on that first night in the house at 34th and Massachusetts? (The next gesture will be a less-than-spunky invisible raising of the middle finger in regard to the arts, education, healthcare, the economy, and the environment.) Couldn't we all just drink an extra cup of coffee each day instead?

Thank God for Katie Couric's bravery, but she posed to Palin just the standard anti-abortion scenario -- if a fifteen-year-old girl gets pregnant by incest.... Take it even further. Girls get their period at age nine now. And what about someone like me? I just turned 49 a few days ago and haven't yet gone through "the change." If I was raped and became pregnant, under Palin's rule, I would be forced to have another child, quite possibly, at my age, a "special needs" child just like she has. What would I do, at almost fifty, divorced, raising a teenage daughter by myself already? And how on earth would Sarah Palin expect me to pay for it? (I'm beginning to see why people prefer not to use their imagination....)

Normally this time of year, in the shortened days and lessening light, my S.A.D. kicks in and has me walking around in a general, sort of continuous funk. Now, with the very real possibility that Sarah Palin may be our next vice-president, I'm walking around in the same funk but calling it P.A.D. instead.